onet's Water Lilies and Manet's Peonies celebrated their partnership
last evening at the second floor galleries of the Metropolitan
Museum of Art. Other Impressionist School alumni in attendance
included Cezanne's Seated Peasant, Renoir's Still Life with Peaches,
and Van Gogh's Self-portrait with a Straw Hat. Suggested admission
was twelve dollars for adults, seven dollars for students and
A jumbo popcorn married an extra-large Diet Coke at last night's
10 PM screening of Master and Commander at
the Loews 84th Street Sixplex. The Supersized couple, who saved
a dollar, were "made for each other," according to Twizzlers,
who was best man. The groom's previous marriage ended in a spill.
High Road/Low Road
The Long Island Expressway and the Northern State Parkway, who
had crossed paths for years, were married at rush hour on Monday.
Thousands of frustrated motorists attended the ceremony, which
was broadcast on the :01s by 1010 WINS, on the :05s by Bloomberg
1130, and on the :08s by Newsradio 880.
"Think outside the box," a daughter of "It's all good," of Ronkonkoma,
and "Too much information," of Jersey City, is to be married
today to, "Stand clear of the closing doors," a son of, "Employees
must wash hands before returning to work" and "Don't even THINK
of parking here," of New York. The ceremony will be conducted
by, "All visitors must be announced," of the Residential Admonition
Church. The bride's previous marriage ended a conversation.
A black Labrador Retriever wed a mongrel of unknown extraction
at the dog run in Riverside Park on Sunday. The bride, 3 1/2,
was paper-trained in a classic six on West End Avenue and is
a Magna Cum Laude graduate of the Come-Sit-Stay
School, where she was elected to Eat, Sleep, and Play. The groom,
of indeterminate age, was born in the South Bronx and was until
recently a resident of the ASPCA.
A copy of In Style and an issue of the New
York Review of Books were married last evening on Metro-North's
6:07 express to White Plains. The bride is a descendent of People and US.
The groom is a descendent of a pine tree. The couple, who met
on a bench in Grand Central Terminal, will honeymoon on a Westchester
coffee table before being recycled next Tuesday.
An American Express Gold Card and a Citibank MasterCard affirmed
their commitment yesterday in a balance transfer with a low APR
of 3.9 percent. The union will be valid until the September statement
closing date, or until the debt is paid in full, whichever comes
A Duracell and an Eveready battery were married yesterday in
a flashlight at the Duane Reade on 23rd and Lex. A Kodak disposable
camera witnessed the event, which was attended by a large selection
of candy and gum. The marriage is expected to last longer than
other leading brands.
A bench press and a treadmill affirmed their commitment at the
Reebok Sports Club at 6 o'clock this morning. The ceremony was
non-denominational, but the couple has agreed to raise their
children as Stairmasters.
A Porterhouse steak and a baked potato renewed their vows at Smith & Wollensky
last evening. Mayor Bloomberg, who conducted the ceremony, was
later arrested for dancing and smoking a cigar.