As the leader of a movement that was recently profiled in your "Eyes
on the Town" section, I must strongly object to the recent article, "Where's
My Fucking Beer, Assholes?" by Artie Robinson.
As head of the "Free Beer" movement, I was very exited, nay
ecstatic, when Mr. Robinson contacted us about doing a story
about our organization. The hope among our members was that this
article would illuminate the struggles faced by our organization
and perhaps bring us to the attention of the larger community,
as the "Eyes on the Town" section is one of the most widely-read
sections of the paper. Imagine our surprise when Mr. Robinson's
article was published. We originally hoped that his titular rage
was directed against those preventing us from achieving a Free
Beer. Our reaction swiftly changed when Mr. Robinson referred
to us as, "fatuous misers incapable of human kindness" and called
our meeting a, "niggardly refusal of libations."
These statements were grossly out of line with the particulars
of Mr. Robinson's visit to our organization. While he was somewhat
distant during the meeting, we assumed that was merely professional
journalistic aloofness. At the post-meeting reception, he approached
me and we had a meaningful conversation regarding our problem.
As I remember it, Mr. Robinson approached me and said, "Nice
meeting; now how do I get my beer?" I was impressed and touched
by the personal affection he showed our Mr. Beer. While some
of us who have been in the movement and have corresponded with
David over the years refer to him as "ours," few newcomers feel
as strongly. I informed Mr. Robinson of our slogan, "Only with
great effort will come a free Beer." At that, Robinson's face
filled with a righteous fury, and he left-we assumed to pen a
scathing article about the prison system that kept a man imprisoned
for indecent exposure for more than 20 years.
Mr. Robinson, know that our leaflet and flyering campaigns bring
in hundreds of interested calls each month. Know that our monthly
information sessions are filled with people who leave in anger
over this tragic situation. Why, just two months ago a session
became a near riot, with members chanting, "We want Beer, we
want Beer!" Obviously, this issue is an inflammatory one and
the government should take notice of this public outcry, and
As a last note, we here at the Free Beer Society are disturbed
by Mr. Robinson's frequent use of epithets in his article that
are usually reserved for the Basque people. We at the FBS are
not of Basque descent, nor do we have any connections to the
Basque people, though we sympathize with their plight.
For those interested in our meetings, look for our fliers bearing
the society's name. Together we can bring about Free Beer!